From shaking hands to standing tall: the confidence that comes from quality
This week and next, I am speaking at two major education conferences in Denmark.
Lots of people will be in the audience. I will walk in, take the stage, and start.
Almost no nerves. Definitely no panic. Only focus, energy, and self-confidence.
And that last word — self-confidence — is what I’ve been thinking about this week.
Where does it actually come from?
How do we help it grow?
And why do we so often get it wrong?
Because in schools, confidence is often treated as something we must test rather than something we should build.
We tell learners, “In two weeks, you’ll give your presentation,” and we hope the experience will strengthen them.
But does it?
When I hear that sentence, I still think of my ten-year-old self.
I can’t remember what the presentation was about – maybe volcanoes, maybe the solar system – but I can still recall how it felt. My hands were shaking, my throat was dry, and every cell in my body was hoping the floor would open up so I could disappear.
Standing in front of your peers is terrifying, not because you don’t care, but because deep down you care so much.
When you study something, you begin to see not only what you know, but also what you don’t. That realisation creates vulnerability, and vulnerability easily turns into fear.
At least in my case, it’s probably the main reason I don’t dance.
You start wondering what others will think, how they will judge you, whether you’ll sound foolish or fail to meet expectations.
And yet, that voice of doubt speaks loudest when you’re unsure of the quality of what you offer.
When you do know you are bringing something of real value, that same voice becomes quieter – sometimes even silent.
That, I think, is where self-confidence really comes from.
Not from telling someone to be brave, but from helping them build something they can be proud of.
For me, that’s what has changed since I was ten.
I feel capable. I know my craft.
It’s my story. I believe in it and I know why it matters.
I’ve done it many times, and each time I refine it a little more.
And most of all, I’ve worked on it until it feels like quality.
That final part changes everything.
When the work itself is strong, when it carries meaning, clarity, and value, confidence follows naturally.
And the audience listens. Not because they are told to, but because quality commands attention.
This, I believe, is where we often go wrong in education.
→ We ask learners to present before we’ve helped them reach that sense of quality.
→ We grade the performance instead of supporting the process.
But imagine if we flipped that sequence.
What if we guided learners to shape, tweak, and polish their ideas until they felt proud of them?
Until they could say, “This is mine, and it matters.”
And then: “I need to present it.”
At that moment, they would stand taller. They would speak differently.
And the room would listen, not out of politeness, but out of genuine respect.
Now imagine you could help all your learners reach that point — each one standing there, proud and eager to share.
Would we still need to spend our time giving front-facing explanations ourselves?
Last week, one of the participants in our latest coaching journey said something that captured this perfectly:
“I just want to say thanks, Rob. The content is fabulous. It’s simple, but deeply meaningful. And I know I’ll go back to it many times – because doing this once isn’t enough.”
Reading that, I realised something important.
The same pattern applies to much more than presenting.
It applies to any form of expressing and sharing with the world.
In this case, the Reimagine Education Coaching Program that I’ve built.
Through her words – and those of other participants – I started to see the quality of the course through their eyes.
I am becoming prouder of it. More confident to share it.
And increasingly certain that what we have created together is worth offering to others.
That is the power of quality. It invites people back in. It builds trust. It makes learning contagious.
So here is my invitation for this week.
Before your learners, colleagues, or team members present anything, pause and ask yourself:
Have I helped them reach quality first?
Because once they do, confidence – and culture – will follow.
Keep helping others shine,
Rob Houben
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